my boyfriend is being mean to me… i want to break up but i can’t!?

my boyfriend of 9 months… at the start, first 4 months were the best days of my life till, but i went under stress and started being mad at him and i stopped (eventually)… and for the last 2 months he’s been so mean to me, he left when i cried(also he said he doesn’t care), said i was dumb and i flirt with other guys(my boyfriend‘s in my class) he almost called me a whore but didn’t…he cried so much and i tried to work things out but couldn’t so… i asked to break up he said okay and later on we came back… and still fighting and kissing (oddly) nd we actually went into a fight i slapped him and he slapped back and he pushed back… i know he’s not the jerk kind, I‘ve known him for 3 years he never acted this way… the weirdest part is that when i asked if he loved me he said i love you so much!! but he said he would stop being mean when do what ever he say… like obey or something… so help me !!!

When do girls/women stop being so mean?

I can’t handle this girl anymore she was my best friend then i called it off because i couldn’t handle her and her drama all the time. Now shes trying to get back into my life by talking shit ( i never retaliate, my boyfriend always tells me that karma will have its way with her). My boyfriend and hers are bestfriends and i want to make peace for them but shes to immature to answer my calls or call me back she can only text because shes a coward. Do i just give up? I really want to but at the same time i want to know that i tried to stop all the bs. Its really stupid considering were 22. Its like grow up already and get over it.

How do I convince my boyfriend to stop drinking? He gets violent and mean!?

My boyfriend has been a drinker since the day I met him. I don’t know if I just didn’t notice it back then, or if he wasn’t acting the way he does now, but now I think he has a problem. He drinks every Friday and Saturday night (and sometimes during the week) He drinks so many beers so fast that usually by 7:30 or 8 p.m. he is totally wasted. In the past 6 months or so he has started getting very mean and aggressive when he is drunk. He will say really mean things that make no sense, and grab me very hard. A few months ago he grabbed me by my hair and pulled me to the ground and then last night (On New Years Eve) he pushed me out of a chair in front of our friends, after he had pulled the covering off of a light pole outside our friends apartment, smashed it in the road and then smashed the light bulb with his beer. When I told him he could not go back to our apartment (because our kids were there sleeping) is when he shoved me out of the chair and started calling me names. He mortified me in front of our friends, and then today acts like nothing happened. Like always! He said he wants to stop drinking, although I‘ve heard that a million times. We have young children and I am afraid one day he is going to do something that will either get them taken from us or accidently hurt one of them. I love him, but I can’t stand this anymore. What do I do???????
He has not always been aggressive and mean when drinking. We have been together for 3 years, and in the past 6 months he has started acting this way. During the times he isnt drinking he is great, he is a great father, and sweet to me.. I just don’t understand why all of a sudden it is this way. Maybe he’s drinking more than he was, he’s been between jobs for the past 6 months.. maybe it’s stress.. I don’t know, I just want him to get help.

What should I do if my friends can’t accept my boyfriend?

My friends are always saying bad stuff about my boyfriend.
They say he’s a player, he’s a liar, and I can do so much better.
I‘m basically in love with him, and I‘m tired of them saying crap to me about him.

How can I nicely tell them to stop?
I mean if they were really my friends then they would be happy and supportive for me, right?

What does it mean when you can’t stop thinking about someone?

I can’t stop thinking of my boyfriend of almost 5 months. He is all I ever think about, Its sometimes hard for me to concentrate. What exactly does it mean?

How can I stop being so needy and clingy?

I‘m 16. If a guy that I am interested in and likes me back is playing hard to get on purpose (which I HATE) or purposely making himself unavailable, I start panicking and become very needy. I start trying really hard to get him to hang out with me and fight for his attention. I become clingy. It makes me think that I did something wrong. I don’t want to be like this anymore.

How can I stop being needy/clingy?

How can I stop being so needy when I like a guy?

I‘m 16. If a guy that I am interested in and likes me back is playing hard to get on purpose (which I HATE) or purposely making himself unavailable, I start panicking and become very needy. I start trying really hard to get him to hang out with me and fight for his attention. I don’t like it when guys play hard to get because I think that is a huge jerk-ish thing to do. I don’t like mind games.

How can I stop being needy?

How do i get her to stop being needy?

My dog is very needy im 14 and since its summer im home with her i call her needy because she rubs all over me when i walk she walks i give her attention because its getting to much because when i was in school she was independent but now she wont let me out of her sight so im wondering what can i do to get her independence back?

How can i stop being needy?

i hav this bad habit of being needy with girls i like…ive been told by girls that im attractive, sweet, and that im a good kisser (i hav no idea how truthfull they were being), i try to tell myself that its not THAT big of a deal if this girl i like changes her mind about me, but it still bugs me….any suggestions on not being so needy?

How do i stop being needy and getting attached so easily?

I can‘t help it I feel like I always need someone or get lonely. Sometimes I end up talking to guys I shouldn’t just because I feel lonely. How do I feel sure of myself and not need people so much?

how can i make my girlfriend to stop caring about my stretch marks?

i lost a lot of weight because i was really big
and now i like to take my shirt of sometimes but my gf thinks its disgusting
and shes always comparing me with other boys stomachs
how do i get rid of them?

how can i stop caring what my ex-girlfriend thinks of me?

I broke up with her abit more than half a year ago now. We’re in the same sixth form meaning we spend alot of time in the common rom around each other. We haven’t spoken in so long and I sent her an e-mail just asking if I can speak to her. SHe didn’t reply so I’m leaving it.
I just want to get on with my life, but I can’t help thinking about what she thinks about me. Help?

How can I stop caring that my girlfriend isn’t a virgin?

This girl and I got together right before I was forced to move.
We didn’t break up, and we talk every day.
I care a lot about her, and she has really fallen for me (which I love).
I was going to go visit my old city soon, and see her. I’m a virgin, she isn’t. She had sex with 1 guy once. At first, this was bothering me for superficial reasons, but I’ve gotten over that. But, for some reason, I thought it’d help me to know what happened. It was driving me crazy imagining it, which I couldn’t help, so I thought I’d feel better knowing what happened, and she told me in detail. While it is driving me a lot less crazy, and it did help, it still pops into my head, except that now I know exactly what happened so I don’t go through a series of what could have happened. I don’t wanna think about it, it’s a destructive thought pattern that I can’t help. So, she told me.
She was going through a rough time, and was doing some stupid stuff. Anyway, it was with a guy that she didn’t really like, and she didn’t really want to do it. But he just went for it, and she didn’t stop him. She says that she is pissed at herself for doing it, and doesn’t like to think about it because then she just thinks about how much she hates herself for doing it.
Anyway, we have planned on havng sex the next time I visit. She says things like do whatever you want to me. And, while that is tantalizing, I can’t stop thinking about how she let him do what he wanted to her. And it’s just a turn off. I feel like if it was with a guy she liked or loved, even if she was a million miles from a virgin, I wouldn’t be dwelling on this. And for some reason I feel like that is holding me back from feeling a certain closeness to her. She has told me that she would do anything to take it back. I wish she had just lied to me honestly, and told me she was a virgin. Haha, I think I’d be a lot happier down that road.

The superficial side is that, in my mind, I want to be the first one to penetrate her. Like, to break that seal, to experience that virgin tightness, that can never be regained (right?). No one else, me. But I know that I can’t, so I’m kind of over that.

When she says things like I want you to do what you want to me (which isn’t that a dream?), I think like he did? And like I said, it is a turn off. But she is so loving and accepting of my flaws, well she thinks I’m perfect (which is also something I’d dream for), I feel like I have no room, no right to feel this way. To hold something against her, that she regrets, and that really doesn’t matter.

And I’m also pissed at myself for not getting to her first. If I hadn’t been fucking around, missing school and getting high, I would have met her sooner, before all this happened, and I would be able to feel so much closer to her.

And you see, I’ve already self-analyzed and realized that feeling this way is pointless, retroactive, and is anti-productive, but that doesn’t stop my mind from feeling this way. I’ve already opened up to her about how I feel, and it broke her heart. I am not going to ever bring it up with her again.

All I want is to not care about this. To love her for who she is and what she has done. We click so well, and we’re so much alike, I don’t want these feelings to poison our relationship.

I am not worried about how I’d compare to this other guy, or anything concerning me at all, so that isn’t the issue.
I would have no problem having sex with another girl who wasn’t a virgin, but with this girl I care.

Is there anything that anyone can tell me that would put my mind at ease, have me not care about this anymore, to not care about this when she so desprately wishes to forget it ever happened, and have me be able to feel that 100% closeness to her that I think I’d feel if it were not for this? (however misguided that may sound) And I’m also afraid that when we have sex for the first time, that it will be on my mind. I want to be as far away from her previous experience as possible, and do as much as I can to make everything different from what she told me. I’m afraid that it will be in the back of my head, and that it’d be like erection kryptonite because it is a turn off, and that I won’t be totally in the moment with her because it’d be in the back of my mind.
And I also realize that sex isn’t that important, and I’m not really stressing it as much as it may sound, but if there are any problems that I have with having sex with her, these are it, and I hope that someone can setlle them for me.

How can I stop caring about his ex girlfriend?

So my boyfriend had this girlfriend on and off for about five years. She was horrible to him throughout those five years but he was completely in love with her. They went out for the last time and broke up about a year ago, and then a couple months later he and I started dating. They stayed pretty good friends up until about November when their communication just started to slow down and then eventually they didn’t even talk anymore.

I know he doesn’t care about her I know, but I’ve seen him look at her Facebook sometimes and thru her pictures. I’m sure he’s curious but it’s just really hard for my mind not to wander to “He misses her I bet…” This girl gets around though and he knows that, but he told me last night that I don’t have to try and turn him against her. That was the first thing negatively I’d ever said about her to him because I really hate bringing her up at all.

This guy is my dream man. I would do absolutely anything for him and I’m completely in love with him. Maybe that contributes because my self-confidence is very low and I just feel like I don’t deserve somebody so amazing.

How can I get it thru my head that he is with me and for the time, this is what he wants? I just want to be comfortable…

We’re both 19 and have been together for about eight months.

How do I stop being such a controlling girlfriend?

I’m sooo controlling. My boyfriend’s controlling too, but I’m so needy. I need him to call me when I feel like talking, I need him to wake up early and text me while I’m at school even if he doesn’t go, I need him to constantly show me attention… It’s so pathetic and I have no idea how to stop.. Obviously I should just stop caring as much but how do I go about it? I’m scared I’m ruining our relationship :’(

How do I stop caring about my boyfriend?

My boyfriend never wants to talk to me during the day, and ignores my calls and texts. I think the best way is to just stop talking to him/contacting him. How can I do this with less pain?

how do i get my boyfriend to stop expecting sexual things every time we see each other?

so i just turned seventeen a couple months ago and my boyfriend‘s almost eighteen. we’ve been dating for two years and we’ve been best friends for six years. despite what everyone says about young love, we really do care about each other and we’ve been through a lot.

for the longest time i was a hardcore prude. i’m pretty sure we didn’t even make out until we were together for two months. he was always really good about not pressuring me but i feel like i started putting pressure on myself because he’s been with other girls before and i’ll probably always feel like i’m not good enough. we started doing sexual things after four months, but it wouldn’t happen that often. i lost my virginity to him in december, and we’ve only had sex twice since then.

it seems like every time we’re together now all he wants to do is fool around. it’s not like i’m not extremely attracted to him, but it gets annoying. sometimes i feel like the only reason he comes over is so we can do that. we can’t even watch a movie together without him trying to grope me, and he actually got me into so much trouble with my parents because one time he apparently couldn’t keep his hands to himself at the table when he was over for dinner. whenever we’re hanging out and he tries to do something, i tell him i don’t feel like it but he keeps trying and i eventually give in. i don’t really know how to say no.

how do i tell him to tone it down without offending him or making him feel like i don’t love him?

thanks for answering
haha i like how all the guys are telling me one thing and the girls are telling me another.

How to stop caring about boyfriend so much…?

and start caring about myself more?
I know you’re suppose to care for the other person when you’re in a relationship but I feel like I care about him way TOO much. Now everything I plan to do is about him or relates to him. I’m always thinking about him and no matter how busy I keep myself, I end up thinking about him anyway.
So how do I stop before I ruin the relationship by always making him my first priority? I feel like the more I show him that I care, the less he wants me..

Afraid my boyfriend will stop caring….?

I haven’t properly seen my boyfriend in about 2 weeks now because i’ve been snowed in, he’s been studying for exams and he has no credit to text me!
I kinda miss him at times but i’m afraid he doesn’t miss me and that all this will make us drift from each other. It’s sad because I want to make him love and care for me more but I don’t know how.
At first I was thinking that this absence will make us miss each other and want each other more.
I’ve no real way to contact him at the moment.

We’ve been together 3 months and we’re teenagers.
I’ll hopefully be getting to see him in a week or less.
What do you think I should do when I see him? Do you think i’m just being stupid?
Do you have advice on how I can make him love me?
Thanks

I know this is awful…but how can I stop caring about my boyfriend so much!?

We all wish people cared more and stuff but I need to stop caring so much. I know it sounds awful but my boyfriend smokes cigarettes, smokes weed and god knows what else. He’s been drinking heavily the past 3 nights and is now as I’m typing. I havent spoken 2 him all weekend because he’s been doing stuff :S We nearly broke up Friday which doesnt help. I’m sitting here waiting for him to send a message which I know wont happen. It’s hurting my feelings and I always get disapointed. I’m getting so sad because my worries are taking over. I love him but my life revolves around him. x

how do you stop jealousy?

i get jealous over my ex’s i think look how happy they are then i see a girl who’s pretty and im instantly jealous of her how do i stop being this way ?x

how to stop jealousy?

I get really jelous so fast
even if i don’t like the person who is making me jealous (not purposely) i just find him attractive

why do i get so jealous?
how can i stop it?

dont answer this unless you actually know HOW to stop it

How do you stop being clingy and jealous?

Well, I can be very clingy over my boyfriend (we have been dating a year). He says it gets very annoying and I understand and have been trying to give him some slack. Every time he chooses to hang with his friends I tell him to have a great time but… I feel very upset, almost jealous :/ How can I stop the jealousy and clingyness?!

How does jealousy work?

When I have money to buy or to pay my bills that is where my friend becomes jealous and says “you still have money to pay for it.” To me that is a jealousy words. He should be saying ‘it is good that you still have money to pay your bills and buy things.’

How does his jealousy affect my brain and its thinking. How do I stop his jealousy and its affect on my brain?

How can you stop your jealousy with your perfect bestfriend?

I have this friend….bestfriend and she’s perfect.
She’s pretty,[developed]
Good at sports, singing, dancing, break dancing, acting, chello, piano, violin, drums, drawling, ceramics.
She a good speaker, not shy, friendly, always trying new things and ends up being good at it without really trying, determined, courageous, very cool, has a lot friends. And the worst part is she’s a good friend and doesn’t have a good family so when your jealous your also guilty…my old friends even like her more than me now. I’m never able to be myself because she’s good at everything I do and like. And she always steals the spotlight, what should do? and I feel like I can’t tell her, because i’ve kinda told her in a way but she just starts yelling and says that I could have her life because she says my life is better becasue I actually have a family that loves me.

Is there any way to stop the jealousy?

I have 2 male cats. One is about 13 years old and neutered. The other is about 9 months old and not neutered. The older one keeps spraying around the house at least once a day. We’ve had the kitten since November and this spraying just started about 2 weeks ago. There are also a lot of stray cats running around outside in the neighborhood. I don’t know what to do! Please help

What is the best way to stop jealousy?

Someone eles is jealousy of me.

What’s the best way to stop jealousy eating away at me?

I don’t want to be specific right here.

What’s the best way to stop jealousy? it’s destroyin me!!?

Ok so I admit I get jealous REALLY EASILY! I am upset if I don;t do the best in the class at a test. In particular with this one girl. It drives me mad when she is picked for school teams and not me, or when she does better at the test. it makes me feel like I’m not doing my best/the best… it can take over my life, and i’ll just go into a deep depression where the only thing i think about is dissapointing teachers, my parents, and ,yself by not beating her. I can’t handle this anymore. I just get out of control, and what’s worse, the girl knows it. she knows I want to do better than her, so the just gloats when ever she does best. We used to be best friends, but now I can’t stand her always bragging about things. Maybe its cause last year, i used to be the best at tests in class, but now this year, she’s took the place. i want to end this jealousy, because at the end of the day, i know it won;t hca ge anything, and she is coming out as the better person with everyone liking her.

what is a way to stop my jealousy problem>?

ok well i feel lik everything is a freaking game and i have to be the winner in the best.
my problem is that i have friends but when my friends hang out i get mad cus i cant hang out…they dont tell me i cant
its just that my parents think my one bestfriend is a bad influence (whatever) BUT thats not the point the point is i cant hang with her outside of skool so my other friend hangs out with her and it makes me mad
cus when my friends tell me what they did i feel like they are bragging,.,, and i feel likke i have to hang out with people just to show im better and people want me and like me more…what is my problem man!?!? and the worst part is my friends talk bout each other behind there bak then they act lik bff….so its so confusing….and i dont want to start drama so im just trying to kkeep my mouth shut…and tips?

Do you have any advice on how to stop possessive aggressiveness?

American Cocker
Male
14 months old
Neutered
Graduated obedience course

This is a totally new behavior. I have seen it no more then 2 or 3 times but I do want to stop it right now. If he is chewing on a bone or if he found something outside like a pinecone he will growl and charge if a dog tries to smell it (he won’t bite of fight but his warning is impressive). He doesn’t do that to any humans and not to every dogs either, only to certain dogs.

How to stop being possessive over the girl who dumped me?

I get to see my ex GF who dumped me with some other guy everyday at the workplace and it hurts me more.I’m finding it so hard to accept the fact that she would sleep with some other guy.I really cant imagine how I will feel the day I come to know that she is getting married.How can I just be normal?

How to Stop a Possessive Dog?

What’s the best way to stop a dog from being possessive about a toy? My dog will have fun playing with toys, and will even fetch, but he has a hard time giving up toys that I have given him, and refuses to let go of things that I throw for him to fetch. How can I get him to stop being so possessive?

How can I stop being so possessive?

I’m not possessive of people. But of things I own. Such as my horse, I can’t stand the thought of anyone giving her a treat and getting her to like them, and I have not gone to some wonderful events just so someone else wouldn’t excersize her. I don’t like to share. I can’t stand it when people touch things of mine. And really, I hate being this way! Its so stressful worrying about little things like that all the time! And I’m sure its irritating. How can I not be this way?! And don’t give me the whole ‘Would you like it if someone was like that towards you?’ thing, because I wouldn’t care if someone was this way to me. It wouldn’t even phase me, and I would understand completely.

How can i stop being possessive?

My boyfriend has lied to me a lot. He lied to me again recently and i demanded to know why. He told me that it was because didn’t think i would be happy for him to be spending time with his friends because he sometimes found me to be possessive and controlling. I suffer with depression and do not like spending time alone. I do not have many friends because of the anxiety that socializing causes me. As a consequence i ring him and text him often but i only ask to see him twice a week. I do not understand why he thinks i would not be happy for him to spend time with his friends because i can not see that I have given him reason to think this. I don’t want to give him any reason to lie to me so how can i convince/show him that i am neither possessive or controlling.

How can I stop being jealous of my boyfriends ex?

I know its stupid and its partially to do with my low self esteem. And I already know he’s chosen to be with me. But I can‘t help comparing myself to her. She’s the cliche really pretty, “sweet” looking, bubbly girl. A month before he asked me out, he sent her a message saying he was only just getting over her and hopes they can be friends one day. Shes his first love and he’s mine. He may not be with her now but thats because she broke up with him, and broke his heart. He still finds it really hard to get close to me, despite us now being together for the same amount of time as he was with her. How can I get over my stupid jealousy!!

I’m so jealous of my boyfriends ex!?

I‘ve been extremely jealous of my boyfriends ex since we started dating.
She’s popular, and she’s so beautiful. She’s a model and there is nothing NOT perfect about her in my eyes.
It bothers me alot, because I feel like my boyfriend is secretly more attracted to her than me.
I feel ugly compared…

How can I stop being jealous?

How can I stop being so jealous of his ex!?

It’s driving me insane! My boyfriend has a lot of ex-girlfriends but one in particular gets on my nerves because she…
1.) was his last long-term relationship
2.) met his dad before he died
3.) is often mistaken for his girlfriend when they are together because they both love each other as friends and so they are very touchy-feely. (He told me about this and I was too nervous to tell him that that would make me EXTREMELY uncomfortable if I saw it happen.)
4.) is closer to my age than most of his exes
5.)…and…as pathetic as this sounds…she seems more interesting than me…he talks about her a lot and she’s got more in common with him than I probably do…and she got him to be more open sexually…
6.) she is very attractive

HOW DO I STOP OBSESSING OVER THIS!?!?!??!?!??!?!? I am fully aware of how insane I am being but it’s so hard for me to stop! HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
A few things I forgot to mention: They dated 3 years ago, it mainly ended because she is polyamourous and he is monogamous.

How Can I Stop Being Jealous Over My Ex?

I was dating this 13 year old girl for maybe a week (i am 15 years old) i felt attracted to her at first then i dont know something happened and i just wasn’t attracted to her anymore so i broke up with her.

recently however i considered asking her back out as i guess im sort of a lonely kid.

i find out that she has a new boyfriend who’s 16 which i think is wrong and to make matters worse this guy is a pot smoker and a stoner which i dont think is good for her but i cant really say anything.

recently i‘ve been feeling overly jealous and i normally don’t
how can i stop myself from feeling jealous when i see them at school?

How can I stop being jealous? Paranoid jealous?

Quick summary of the bits you need to know:

My boyfriend had a really bad bout of manic bipolar this past summer. The mania got really bad and he left me then hooked up with a girl from high school that he had started talking to a lot on FB. We got back together said he had changed his ways. I believed him and it was true. Don’t worry about details, just know where I‘m coming from.

Now we’ve been so busy with work and school and family that I feel we’ve grown apart since we haven’t been seeing each other lately. He’s moving into a new apartment, he heard it was available cause it was owned by this acquaintance of his on FB a couple weeks before.

He gets it, Moves in, now when he posts something about it she’s always got 2 cents to put. And is talking about how her ex boyfriend put the dents in the front door, and how he’s jealous of my boyfriend because he’s crazy and thinks they are cheating together.

1) I really don’t like them talking about this all over facebook.
2) I am very jealous and it was the end of me and my boyfriends date night tonight and he reads the newest comment from her and answers it. Then when I‘m telling him goodnight I see that just before he texted me he replied to another one of her comments.

I know he’s not cheating on me, because she moved 2000 miles away. But how can I get rid of this paranoia that he’s going to leave me or she’s trying to pry him away from me. I just find it so rude that they’re discussing cheating and shit all over facebook and I can‘t seem to look away. It’s really upsetting me, which I know is wrong and I want to know how to stop! Should I ask her to not talk about that stuff?
Also I can‘t really confront him about it, because I trust him and I see him trying to steer the convo away but she keeps bringing up details and stuff. And if i were to confront him he would see it as I don’t trust him. I really want to know how to either get rid of this ridiculous paranoid jealousy or how to stop this discussion of theirs if that’s what you feel is necessary.

How can I stop being jealous?

When my boyfriend talks to other women that I know are not platonic friends and I don’t know them, I get jealous feelings. I don’t like how I act or what I say which sounds iinsecure and distrustful, and I wonder what he thinks about them. I think I do trust him but I don’t like that he is giving them attention and talking to them, and not introducing me. Is there something wrong with me? What can I do to stop these horrible feelings?

How do I stop my jealous feelings?

My best friend, who is a girl hangs out with all types of people like I do, but for some reason when I see her with other guys I just cant help but feel jealous. I do know that I might have feelings for her, but I can’t tell her anything about that yet. So until then please tell me a way to get over my jealousy long enough until im ready to tell her.
Im a guy. I forgot to say that, sorry. Plus, I try to hang around the same people she does ,guys or girls, but It makes me seem to desperate sometimes to talk to her

How do I stop these jealous feelings towards husband’s son?

I have been slated by people on here when mentioning this before… by those who have no understanding of the situation, & I am trying to change.

My husband & I have been married for a short time & I am 19weeks pregnant. My husband was thrilled when we found out. I am 40, he is 39. I have an 18yr old, he has a 19yr old.

My son moved in with my parents just before we married (for reasons too complex to go into). My stepson lives with us, but was due to live with his mum in June (NOT because I’m trying to get rid of him). My stepson loves his mum very much & she had been asking him to live with her for a while.

To start with I got on well with stepson. I made food I knew he liked, bought gifts etc. He goes to college 2 days a week & his dad decided that Connor should do the washing up on his days off as his chore. Now I do the washing up daily… when I mentioned this to hubby he said I was an adult, his son was a child so I should shut up. His son now ignores me… he comes into the room & asks “do you want anything dad” yet refuses to look at me. I’d always complimented my hubby on how polite his son is, now I mention how he ignores me, even if I talk to him, and my husband goes mad.

My husband calls my son “darling”, won’t have a bath unless his son is here, so he can go into the bathroom with him. talks about how we should raise our child, and names etc. Anytime I complain he tells me his son is his only family, his best friend and that he’d prefer it if I left so they could have fun like they used to before I came along.

We have a small 2 bed house & to start with, when his son was going to leave, this would have been OK. When I realised this was unlikely to happen I suggested getting a 3bed house, which my husband had been offered. My husband refused… saying that he’s not sure what he wants….

I really don’t want to live with a baby in this small house, with his Son who lives the toilet filthy, my husband running around wiping his son’s nose (his son can’t cook or do his washing at 19). I spend every night crying. I did ask if his son could stay with his mum when the baby is born to give us some bonding time with the baby. Husband refuses saying that it’s half-sibling & he wants his best friend to experience it with us…. while I can empathise I don’t agree. I’m happy for his son to see the baby… but I don’t agree that his son should be around 24/7 to share our experience (I know this is awful of me)… we’re a new family & of course his son will always be part of it… I’m not arguing that… I just want some time alone with the two of us & our new baby… who has two parents not three. I feel desperate as my feelings are not thought of. His mum would happily have him as his college would have finished for the year… I can’t bear the thought of my husband having baths with his son, cooking for his son, staying up till 3am with his son playing games, while I’m tending to a newborn.

We’ve also come to blows regarding guardians for the baby. My husband has disowned his family & his next of kin are his son & his ex-wifes sister. He wants his son or ex sis-in- law to be guardian… I don’t. I want my sister who is marred with a young child & has already said would encourage his son to visit. That way my son would also be involved. His son would take my child to a different part of the country to be with his mum… who I’ve never met. My husband is cool with this as I think he still loves his ex… as I’m feeling the baby move & will be the one pushing it our I don’t want it brought up by some kid who hates me & never seeing my family.

I’m also worried about the delivery as my husband has said I can’t have an epidural as his ex didn’t. I don’t want him to watch the head come out, he won;t be there if he’s not allowed, plus he says he’s not there for me but to watch his child be born… I rally want someone there who loves me & supports me… right now I feel like a surrogate or incubator as opposed to a wife… how to change how I feel?

I also want to add I love my son very, very much & we get on great now (there are reasons unrelated to my husband that he moved in with my parents). So I understand about kids coming first.. yet my hubby has an exclusive relationship with his son that excludes me
All good points that i have thought about… yet my husband REFUSES to have my son around & hates him… so I don’t feel like I should try to too hard with his son anymore… I do get annoyed when people way I should have realised before we married that he had a son… so do I .. who now wants to live with me. My stepson has a mum… my son only has me… so I’m sick of hearing how I should be nice to his son, while my poor baby is left out in the cold
Also surely staying with a husband who bad mouths my son will only teach the baby to its half-brother… why should i stay around & try to be nice to his son… when my own flesh & blood is bad mouthed & treated like crap?

How do you stop feeling jealous?

I recently started seeing this girl, we aren’t really a ‘couple’ yet but we go on dates and do stuff couples do. The thing is that she is a more gregarious person then I am and she is friendly with a lot of people and is always going out. Meanwhile I’m stuck at home studying or just sitting by myself.

I don’t mind this at all, she can have a social life or whatever, but whenever she tells me she is going to a party, I get extremely jealous because I know she’s going to be around other guys and don’t really know if she is going to be making out with them or something like that. I try to let these jealousy feelings go and trust her, but I have trust issues and I get uncontrollably angry. How can I stop these feelings from happening? It’s getting really bad and I don’t want them to somehow ruin any chances I have with this girl.

how to stop being jealous?

well you see i know your best friend can have other friends too. i now that because i have a lot of other friends besides my best friend. but why is it that whenever my BFF hangs with her other friends, that I get jealous? like a few days ago, she invited this other girl to the movie theatre instead of me, and i couldn’t help it but i got so mad inside!!! i really want to stop these feelings of jealousy!!! How???