Posts Tagged ‘relationship’
Your Questions About Jealous Of My Girlfriends Past
Charles asks…
Should my girlfriends past bother me enough to lead me to brake up with her?
She never had sex but did everything else, with about 5 guys. my past is cleaner than hers, although i have done stuff, but not 3rd. it used to never bother me, until our relationship got serious and we were talking about marriage. then all of a sudden her past started really bothering me and i couldnt stop thinking about it. it made me lose weight and i couldnt sleep, i think it made me feel really uncomfortable, maybe i was just jealous or it was an ego thing, i dont know, but i couldnt handle it, it was taking over, but before all this happened, we were in love and everything was amazing, so i was thinking i should wait it out until things go back to how they were, but its been 5 months and they havent gone back, what should i do?? thanks
Stop Being Jealous answers:
Its hard to find many girls looking for marriage that have been with NO guys. Besides, even if you found a girl that had been with only 3 guys, like you have been girls, you will still feel just as jealous of those 3 as you do to the 5 now. Realize everyone has a past, and it isn’t always perfect. Dont ruin something that is great over something that she can’t change.
Lisa asks…
Im always worried about my girlfriends past. Is this normal?
I have been with my GF for almost 2 years, But in the beginning of the relationship she told me how many people she was with and it really bothers me every day. To look at the girl I love and know that she was with other guys. Im extremly jealous and so is she.
Stop Being Jealous answers:
If you worry about that now then wait till you get older…she probably doesnt think about those guys anymore until you bring them up. Dont make a big deal about it or it will ruin your relationship. The past is the past
Daniel asks…
Jealous of my Girlfriend’s Past?
I’ve been with my girlfriend since Sunday. We’ve been “together” for about 2 weeks, but I officially “asked her out” on Sunday.
I’m extremely jealous of her past boyfriend. I don’t get it. He cheated on her. They had a sexual relationship, and I can’t bear to think about it. I have talked to her about it, and she keeps convincing me that “I’m the one”, and that her ex is worth nothing to her. It makes it worse, that when we were next to each other in College, I looked over to her after working, and saw text on her screen saying “Sending… *Ex’s Name*”. She then immediately went into her Sent box, and deleted it straight away after realizing I noticed her sending this message to her ex. She said to me: “Just deleting my messages, run out of space.” Even though she has a 32GB mobile phone.
I trust her a lot. I trust the fact that she loves me now, and not her ex. I just can’t help but think about the fact she had a relationship, probably really good, before me. And, the other thing is, is that her past relationship was sexual. We haven’t had sex yet, but I can’t help but be jealous that some other guy has been “in” her before me. It’s tearing me apart, and will probably ruin this relationship if I don’t get over it fast.
We’re perfect for eachother, her, I, and MANY others believe. She’s extremely intelligent like myself, plays music, and lots lots more, exactly like me. We both do Maths, Physics and Further Maths in College. She’s perfect.
I need to get over this Jealously. How can I come about this? Please help. Thanks.
Stop Being Jealous answers:
You are young. This happens.
Linda asks…
How can I get over my girlfriends past sex life?
I have been with this girl for a little over a year now. We met in our first year of college. We are both 19 years old now. Ever since we met things have been perfect. This girl is just about everything I want. She is smart, funny, trustworthy, loyal, a hard worker, a huge laker fan(like me) and on top of all that she is very attractive. I just cant seem to get over the fact that she had sex before we met. One day in casual conversation, we discussed the number of partners each of us had. Sometimes her past gets to me and sometimes I just dismiss it as normal for people our age. I will not say how many guys she has been with because I think that should remain between us, but I will say that you can count her number of partners on one hand. I have never been involved with a girl that was a virgin before(hell i never even met a girl that was a virgin). And out of all the girls that I have been with, it never bothered me that they had sex with other guys. It only bothers me with the girl I am involved with now. I know that the chances of meeting someone without a past is very slim. And I’m sure that things wouldn’t be different if I was involved with someone else instead of her. Its not fair for me to bring this problem in our relationship. I am really struggling with this. Im not jealous or anything, I just wish that I was her only one. Im confident that she wouldn’t cheat so it doesnt have anything to do with that. And im not worried about anyone else being better than me or whatever. Any advice would be much appreciated. Oh yea, and DONT PULL ANY PUNCHES with your answers. But please be respectful. Thank You
Stop Being Jealous answers:
Look seriously you have to stop looking at the past, especially the past of your girlfriend. What matters is she is with you now….you are the present. If you keep on thinking like this and allow her past which you can not turn back the hands of time to conflict with the now…then really you could jeopardize things and may turn into a past as well.
You should not let things like that turn into an insecurity you have and make you feel away or weary. Just be happy with the fact she is in your arms, enjoy her whilst you can and enjoy the experiences you share together. Try to increase the good times you share and appreciate her. When you appreciate a person and make them feel loved, it is guaranteed things should work out successfully. Seriously you got to be strong and confident in yourself, believe in yourself and her…cherish what you got not look for things that are going to bother you.
Look when you feel strongly for someone, everyone likes to feel that they were the first, only and will remain their only one. Now your duty is to make her stay your only one by not being possessive, obsessive and negative. But just enjoying the times you have and understanding what the concept of relationship requires both to do in order to make things worthwhile.
Mandy asks…
How do i get over my girlfriends past?
Me and my gf are happy together in almost every aspect. only, i cant get over her sexual past. shes had sex 3 times(2 times with one guy, 1 time with the other) before me all on hookups, and even though she regrets and has learned from it, it still drives me crazy. weve discussed it many times before but it seems nothing can help how i feel. shes only 15 and that makes it even worse, especially since i was a virgin before her. ive given it so much though, and i know i lvoe her and shouldnt be feeling this way, but i cant deny the way i feel, no matter how unjustified, i just wanna be able to A)not think bout it constantly, and B) not make me feel jealous, insecure, less attractive, less experienced, etc. Basically im at the point where i have a hard time even accepting it, i just want it out of my head and when it comes to my head on occasion, to not have it hurt me so much.
and a semi-important detail i forgot: the other two guys are “cool kids” i guess, not that i care about my rep or anything but it bothers me for some reason, she used to hang out with all the “cool kids” of our town, she hangs with me and all my friends now, but still, like since they got with her on a hook up and i actually had to go out with her just contributes to making me feel shitty-ishhh :/
Stop Being Jealous answers:
You need to get over it! Seriously grow up. She wasn’t dating you when she was with them right? And she is with you now- not them so she obviously chose to be with you. You sound really immature and like you should not be in a relationship/let alone a sexual one. That is part of being a grown up. Everyone you date for the rest of your life will have a past- that is what makes people who they are. You look like a petty little boy by acting jealous over soemthing that happened before you were together! And it sounds like she has matured enough to hang out with who she wants to and make her own decisions. For your own sake and for hers, bury it and use all that pent up energy/jealousy towards something positive. Like donating your time to charity or running a marathon or something more productive. It sounds very young and immature to me.
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Tags: cool kids, girl, girlfriend, jealous answers, petty little boy, pull any punches, relationship, sexual relationship, some other guy, your questions about jealous of my girlfriends past
Your Questions About Jealous About Girlfriends Past
Jenny asks…
Is it normal to be jealous or dissapointed about your girlfriends past?
I was just wondering if it is ok? My girlfriend has told be everything and I cant help but being jealous or dissapointed about her past with other guys. I know its the past but is there anyway to get over this?
Stop Being Jealous answers:
Yes there is, stop dwelling in it! Part of being in a relationship is taking(accepting) the good with the bad. We all have a past, not everyone is going to like it but if they love us then it shouldn’t matter. Remember the key word here is “past” if you’re afraid that she’s still doing whatever it is that bother you in the first place than that’s a different story. Just accept her, flaws and all. Don’t look back because as much as anyone would like to, we can’t go back and change it. It’s over and done with. Move on and just enjoy being happy.
I give her KUDOS for being honest and telling you everything. You tell me, does that count for something in your book? It does in mine.
Worse case scenario would’ve been her keeping it from you and led you to believe something different.
William asks…
Why Are Guys So Concerned About Girlfriends Past?
But when it comes time to dish yourself you aren’t there or what to change the subject. When men are more whores then most women times 2 yet they get so jealous.
Stop Being Jealous answers:
Because girlfriends from the past come back as ghosts.
Over and out =)
Mandy asks…
How do i get over my girlfriends past?
Me and my gf are happy together in almost every aspect. only, i cant get over her sexual past. shes had sex 3 times(2 times with one guy, 1 time with the other) before me all on hookups, and even though she regrets and has learned from it, it still drives me crazy. weve discussed it many times before but it seems nothing can help how i feel. shes only 15 and that makes it even worse, especially since i was a virgin before her. ive given it so much though, and i know i lvoe her and shouldnt be feeling this way, but i cant deny the way i feel, no matter how unjustified, i just wanna be able to A)not think bout it constantly, and B) not make me feel jealous, insecure, less attractive, less experienced, etc. Basically im at the point where i have a hard time even accepting it, i just want it out of my head and when it comes to my head on occasion, to not have it hurt me so much. the other two guys are “cool kids” i guess, not that i care about my rep or anything but it bothers me for some reason, she used to hang out with all the “cool kids” of our town, she hangs with me and all my friends now, but still, like since they got with her on a hook up and i actually had to go out with her just contributes to making me feel shitty-ishhh :/
Stop Being Jealous answers:
You can’t change what happened in the past. I know it bothers you, but neither of you can change what you did before you knew each other. You can only go forward with the relationship you have. Also, think of it as if your roles were reversed – and you had had sex three times and she hadn’t, and now you found someone you loved and she was a virgin and she couldn’t get over your experience – how would you feel ? Constant guilt for something you couldn’t change ?
Having sex three times doesn’t make a person experienced, particularly if it was with two different people. They were still at the “fumbling around” stage, and it never went any further. Experience comes with a longer term relationship, where people get comfortable with each other and try to please each other. The sex she had was still at the stage where people do it to please themselves and find out what is going on – it didn’t come out of a loving relationship, which is what you have. What I’m trying to say is, fumbling around a few times with someone else is absolutely not the same as getting into a committed relationship where you are trying to please the other person and build on that relationship.
She is hanging out with you and your friends and trying to fit in with you and your group. Everyone changes as they get older, and maybe she figured out what she wanted, and that is you – not the cool kids who are usually more shallow.
I know this is hard on you. I’m female, and I never liked going with guys who had more experience than me (and I didn’t have a lot of experience). So I know exactly how you feel, only from a female perspective. But I ended up in long term relationships (over a year, and sometimes several years – I chose not to get married because I wanted to put my career first, but that was my choice), and over time their experience didn’t seem to matter very much. The only thing that really counted was what we had, together.
You have to get over this, or else it will just poison your relationship with her, eventually. And are you going to lose a really good relationship with someone you love just because she was totally honest with you and told you about two guys she was with before she met you ? They didn’t mean anything to her, they were just her satisfying her curiousity, nothing more. And now she wants a relationship with you and, technically, she is a virgin to relationships – and she wants to try to have a relationship with you.
And suppose she hadn’t been honest with you, and hadn’t told you about the two guys. Would you feel any better? Losing virginity is so over-rated. My first boyfriend was a real creep, but that was years ago, and now – so what ? I’m glad he’s gone, he doesn’t matter any more.
You need to come to terms with this. Take a good look at your girlfriend. Do you really care about her and does she really care about you ? Do you both want this relationship ? Or do you want to stay mad over something she can’t change, and let it eat at you until it poisons your relationship with her – which, believe me, it eventually will ?
And if you decide you can’t live with it, and you break up, then what are you going to do if you meet a new girl you really care about – and she’s a virgin and you aren’t ? (Or, to be petty about it, are you going to count the times you had sex with this girl and are only going to date girls in the future who have had sex the same number of times, so you’re equal ? I wish you luck with that…..before you take someone out to dinner for the first time, say “excuse me, but how many times did you have sex? I have to make sure our numbers match before I start anything with you, because it bothers me if we aren’t equal.”)
Seriously, though, sit down, think about your relationship with this girl and be honest with yourself. Either break it off with her now, before either of you get really hurt, or else decide you are going to accept what you can’t change – what happened before she got involved with you – and put it all behind you and have fun with and care about someone who you really love. Your relationship with her is new to both of you. (And it bothers guys a lot more when they date a girl who had had a strong relationship with a guy, than when the girl just had casual sex with someone a couple of times. This is true.)
John asks…
I care my girlfriends past.?
My girlfriend is not a virgin,her first man is her previous boyfriend.She said she don’t want he unhappy so she agree with him.I care about that.I jealous,Anyone give me some advice.Thanks.
Stop Being Jealous answers:
Well, if you accepted her that way, without being a virgin then thats because you were willing to try to work things out. Try to forget about that. And besides, think that if you were to be her “first man” and ya’ll were to brake up, then thats how the other guy would feel. So, try to think about that.
Maria asks…
how to stop being jealous about my girlfriend’s past?
you know there past boyfriend’s its just getting me mad and i cant talk to her right
Stop Being Jealous answers:
Everyone has a past, you’ve just gotta let it go. And everyone has shit said about them too. If you love her you trust her for how she is with you, not whats happened to her before you. Take her at face value, she’ll appreciate it.
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Tags: cool kids, good relationship, jealous about girlfriends, jealous answers, long term relationships, longer term relationship, relationship, time, worse case scenario, your questions about jealous about girlfriends past
Your Questions About How Do I Stop Being Jealous In My Relationship
Betty asks…
How can i stop being jealous in a relationship?
I HATE being jealous but its hard for me to control it. Sometimes when i don’t talk bout it, that helps since i tend to forget about it. But my boyfriend thinks if something bothers me i should always tell him, so sometimes i have to tell him. I just wana STOP feeling jealous altogether. Dunno how. Please help. And PS, i do trust him, im just still jealous.
Stop Being Jealous answers:
I feel exactly the same way, and there is nothing you can do about it (just dont let it show or its the beginning of the end)
James asks…
how do i stop being jealous in my relationship?
its so stupid i just cant get it through my head. please help me. everytime my boyfriend even talks to another girl i get upset :[ and when some other girl that like tries to flirt with him even tho he tries to get away, i still get upset and end up blaming him 
why do i do this? it sucks…please help?
Stop Being Jealous answers:
You will have to boost your self esteem and remember that he is on loan to you, he doesn’t belong to you. Understand that while other girls are looking at him other guys are looking at you if you are taking the time to be sure you have made the effort to put your best out there. Really, do you want something nobody else does? Remember, this jealousy could push him away. This jealousy could make him feel superior to you. Think of it this way, the girls are probably jealous of you being with him. Be determined to give the appearance of quiet dignity and self assurance.
John asks…
Teenage Relationship… How to stop being so jealous!?
So my boyfriend and I have been dating for about 2 months. Before we started dating my friend Jasmine had a crush on him, and whenever I see that she wrote on his wall on facebook, or she flirts with him when we’re standing in a group, I get jealous. Also, sometimes when he talks about texting other girls or when girls flirt with him in front of me I get jealous. Our relationship is very good and he cares for me alot and doesn’t flirt back with girls but I still feel so insecure when this happens. How do I stop being so jealous? I know it’s a terrible thing!
Stop Being Jealous answers:
Jealousy is perfectly natural. The same thing happened to me when I started dating my current boyfriend (about 3 years ago).. Girls would always flirt with him and talk to him and I’d get jealous.
What you should do is talk to your boyfriend about it. I think he’d like to know how you’re feeling so next time it happens he can do something about it.
If nothing happens, then I would take matters into your own hands, but do it subtly. If you’re in a group and girls flirt with your bf, hold him tight to let them know he’s yours.. He’ll like how confident and unafraid you are around flirty girls. If they get really mean or flirty, say something. “I’m not sure if I feel comfortable talking like that to my boyfriend, especially when I’m here, thanks.” Make it polite but firm, so they’ll know you aren’t trying to be a bitch, but you mean business.
Paul asks…
how do you stop being jealous in a relationship?
I get really jealous if my boyfriend even looks at another girl. Deep down i know he won’t do anything but I‘m just so scared he will.
Stop Being Jealous answers:
Two things:
1. Self-esteem. He is with you and not other girls for a reason. Be happy about that. Work on your strengths and on what made him like you that much to begin with. You ARE worth it!
2. Trust. Unless he’s done something to make you distrust him, let it go. Give him the benefit of the doubt. Don’t make him have to earn your trust every second of every day. If you can’t trust each other, what type of relationship do you really have?
Richard asks…
How to stop feeling so jealous in a relationship?
I have just very recently entered into my first relationship in just over 16 months.
I am pretty young,and so far,have had bad luck with guys,because they treated me badly or messed with my mind.
My new boyfriend is really nice,but i‘m feeling insanely jealous when he talks to,and texts other girls. I know for a fact he wouldn’t cheat on me. I‘m aware it’s completely irrational,and pretty childish. how do I stop being jealous? :/
Stop Being Jealous answers:
Don’t listen to the first guy, he’s just effing with ya or he’s your typical insecure guy that is scared of being hurt so he hurts before he thinks he’ll be hurt. Just act as if you have never had bad luck with guys before. Cuz if you think about it, if you didn’t have problems with ex bf’s before you wouldn’t be the jealous type. So don’t let the guys in the past ruin your future for ya!
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Tags: beginning of the end, current boyfriend, flirty girls, girls, jealous, jealous answers, relationship, taking the time, typical insecure guy, your questions about how do i stop being jealous in my relationship
I hate being so jealous………..?
I’ve always been an extremely jealous girl when it comes to being in a relationship. I hate the way jealousy makes me feel and it always tends to ruin everything.
I can’t stop having bad thoughts, I’m continuously thinking that the guy I’m with is either a liar or a cheat. I’ve been this way with all of my boyfriends and it’s hurting me very much.
I’m a very insecure person and when I feel jealous my mind just goes crazy. I even have had nightmares about this.
I’ve tried to take control of this problem but I just feels like it’s a losing battle.
I was wondering if maybe someone else felt this way and was able to fix it somehow, if so please give me some advice. I don’t want jealousy to take over my life.
you sound like a women to me there all like that. but if you dont put your trust in the guy your with and you think hes going to lie about everything then is it really worth being in a relationship if theres no trust? but its your life and you only get one. so you decide is it better to be sad and alone or try trusting the man your with. and whats the worst that could happen you end up alone. but you would have been alone any ways if you never trusted him
sorry if i babbled if you can understand what i mean then i hope it helps good luck
Tags: bad thoughts, good luck, i hate being so jealous823082308230, insecure person, jealous girl, jealousy makes, losing battle, relationship, trust, way
How can you stop jealousy in a relationship?
Love yourself! Insecurity breeds jealousy while self confidence is its poison.
Trust yourself and your partner.
Never compare your self to others.
Stay present in your relationship instead of worrying about hypothetical situations. Don’t be paranoid!
Have an open and healthy communication lines with your partner.
Tags: communication lines, healthy communication lines, how can you stop jealousy in a relationship, hypothetical situations, jealousy, jealousy in a relationship, relationship, self, self-confidence, yourself
How do I not get jealous?
It’s a question I get asked all the time, being a swinger people find it hard to get their head around so here I share my thoughts on it 
Duration : 0:5:30
Tags: exploration, jealous, jealousy, love, marriage, relationship, relationships, SEX, sexuality, swinging
How do you stop jealousy in a relationship?
Love yourself! Insecurity breeds jealousy while self confidence is its poison.
Trust yourself and your partner.
Never compare your self to others.
Stay present in your relationship instead of worrying about hypothetical situations. Don’t be paranoid!
Have an open and healthy communication lines with your partner.
Tags: communication lines, healthy communication lines, how do you stop jealousy in a relationship, hypothetical situations, jealousy, jealousy in a relationship, relationship, self, self-confidence, yourself
how can i stop feeling so jealous when i see all these happy couples?
i am 16 years old and have never had a boyfriend before. i kissed this one guy twice, but only fast "pecks" and turns out he is a real weirdo. yesterday i went to a big fair with my gramma. i saw all the happy couples there – holding hands, hugging/kissing each other. i am happy for them-don’t get me wrong , but i just feel jealous because i’ve never had that and i wish i do. how can i stop feeling like this?
You’re just seeing the good in relationships. There’s a lot of bad stuff that goes on in a relationship that you don’t see. They’re extremely stressful and sometimes even bothersome.
Being single is actually pretty awesome, enjoy it.
Tags: bad stuff, being single, boyfriend, feeling, happy couples, holding hands, how can i stop feeling so jealous when i see all these happy couples, real weirdo, relationship, relationships
How can I stop my jealousy issues?
With my girlfriend? She tells me she loves me and swears im the one and she never would ever cheat or leave me and that im her true love, and i believe her but its always in tha back of my mind that she is gonna one day walk out on me. I just cant help but think that. How do I stop from thinking this way?
You gotta be confident. You gotta think your the shyt, and your the best for her. Realize that she does say that she loves u so much and ur her true love and she would never hurt you. Realize that and only that. If you spend time worrying about the bad things that havent happened your never gonna be fully happy in that relationship. It does you no good to worry about it.
Tags: back of my mind, bad things, cant help, how can i stop my jealousy issues, jealousy issues, love, realize, relationship, tha, true love
What can I do to fix my relationship? How can I stop being so jealous?
I have really bad jealousy problems and it is affecting my relationship. I really like this guy but, I keep getting so mad at him and then I have second thoughts but, I know he’s not doing anyhting wrong. I always imagine the worse, if he’s talking to a girl, he likes her . . . that’s how it is in my mind even though I know it isn’t true. I know he wouldn’t do that. But, I can’t stop myself from thinking it. I don’t want to be that bitchy girlfriend but, it’s just my jealousy showing. How can I fix this? Or is it too late?
He’s not doing anything wrong, it’s just my mind saying he is.
Think of it this way, jealousy is just another name of a demon. John 10: 10 in your Bible says that the thief comes not but for to kill, and to steal, and to destroy. Why do you let the devil get the best of you when he has no power over you at all unless you let him. That’s just the devil putting all those thoughts in your head. He’s not after your body, or your spirit( the life of the body), he’s after your soul (your mind, will and emotion). Don’t let him get a foothold in there, to control your thoughts because it robs you of blessings.
Tags: bitchy girlfriend, don, jealousy, jealousy problems, john 10, mind, relationship, second thoughts, thoughts, what can i do to fix my relationship how can i stop being so jealous