my boyfriend suddenly jealous and doesnt believe what i say? i cant stop crying today, please can you help?
a couple of weeks ago, we were having a disscusion on gordon ramsy affair, and we mentioned past relationships.
after this conversation he went quiet and has had severe jelousy and paranoid thoughts ever since.
he keeps thinking i have someone else, and looks at every minor detail hoping to find some evidence that im cheating. last night he asked me why his bath towel smelt strange and that it wasnt his smell- he then kept asking me if i was cheating. we have been so happy up until this point, and we have been together one year and live together.
i have never cheated on him, and tell him i would never hurt him. i dont know how to show him he can trust me and that i am innocent.
please can you advice me? today i feel so low that i cant hardly speak. i dont want my boyfriend to think this about me. i dont want to leave, i want to work through it. but how? what do i say to him?
he loves me. its because he is afraid of being hurt.
you don’t need to prove that you are innocent. he should trust you or leave. why should you live like this. he’s the one with the problem.
someone said that women have a built in need to nurture their men the way they nurture their children. this causes them to take it on themselves to take guys with issues under their wings and suffering all their rubbish, instead of running for the hills and finding a guy who is going to support them and make them feel good about themselves.
So tell him. it’s his problem not yours.
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July 17th, 2010 at 9:17 pm
Cheer up its x mas soon!!!!!!!!
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July 17th, 2010 at 9:48 pm
personally id take that tissue box away from you and let you cry -
why? cos im that darn good lol
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July 17th, 2010 at 9:54 pm
your boyfriend is doing this to you on purpose because he likes to feel dominate and crap. tell him to buzz off and that you don’t need his kind in your life. you are better then that and you should find someone that believes in you and loves and cares for you
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July 17th, 2010 at 10:35 pm
I think u should be telling him this, If he doesnt believe you maybe he is using this as an excuse to get out, unlikely but def possible.
Calm down it’s minor in the whole of things. Don’t let a relationship effect you as much as this.
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July 17th, 2010 at 11:03 pm
It sounds like he is guilty of something himself. Maybe he is the cheater and is trying to shift it around on you to lessen his guilt!
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July 17th, 2010 at 11:11 pm
Love has no room for jealousy, as well as keeping records of wrongs.
tell him that he needs to grow up from being jealous, and if he really does love you, he will try to work on that at the very least.
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July 17th, 2010 at 11:52 pm
Don’t let an insecure person put you down, your boyfriend is showing a long deep problem feeling unworthy, insecure, and possibly he likes drama and builds up dumb ideas.
If you really want an advice dump the guy, this is your red flag and your boyfriend has issues that will last a long time and possibly all his life.
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July 18th, 2010 at 12:03 am
ok my boyfriend is a bit like this.. unbelievably paranoid even though he has no reason to be
it will probably get worse as it did with me
hes so scared of loosing you but in the end he might loose you because hes paranoid
just talk to him and lay down some rules and snap him back into reality. you have to be FIRM! i did and it worked… well so far it has
it not fair that he should make you upset over something you’ve never done
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July 18th, 2010 at 12:16 am
Take Heart…You did nothing wrong. He is having the problem. Stick by him and see this through, but there is no need to feel guilty about anything. You may even need to yell at him the next time he asks you some strange question about a hidden boyfriend that you don’t have. That may set him straight and wake him up. Remember, no matter how bad things are today, tomorrow will be better.
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You will get through this just takes time. (smile)
July 18th, 2010 at 1:04 am
i feel your pain, boyfriends can tend to get very jealous of little things and just so you know he is only acting like that because he loves you. remember that.so dont cry anymore i hope you feel better
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July 18th, 2010 at 1:29 am
Not to make you feel worse, but in my personal experience when someone is trying to prove you are cheating they usually are. It may not be a physical thing, but he could just be contemplating it. People preffer to pass guilt rather than live with it. Should he be able to prove you are cheating that would bring you to his level. My wife has cheated on me numerous times, and looking back they coincide with times when she would accuse me even though I never have.
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July 18th, 2010 at 1:46 am
Ah, the good ‘ol lower self esteeem, self worth & guilt trick. You women fall for that crap over and over again and than wonder why you end up stuck with an idiot for a boyfriend / husband.
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July 18th, 2010 at 2:15 am
Could your boyfriend be guilty of deceit? If you have never been unfaithful and you’ve been happy up until this point, and then all of sudden he starts accusing you of cheating on him?
I think he has either cheated on you and feels guilty, but doesn’t want to deal with it so he transfers his feelings onto you OR he is trying to find a way to end the relationship with you.
You have to be strong enough to handle either scenario. If you are innocent, then you have nothing to feel bad about. If he can’t trust you, then what is holding your relationship together? A longstanding relationship has to have trust or it will fail.
Good luck!
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July 18th, 2010 at 2:57 am
There’s an old saying, the one doing to Questioning is the one up to no good. When he just started doing it you got to ask yourself why ? You may want to start checking the things hes doing
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July 18th, 2010 at 3:39 am
you don’t need to prove that you are innocent. he should trust you or leave. why should you live like this. he’s the one with the problem.
someone said that women have a built in need to nurture their men the way they nurture their children. this causes them to take it on themselves to take guys with issues under their wings and suffering all their rubbish, instead of running for the hills and finding a guy who is going to support them and make them feel good about themselves.
So tell him. it’s his problem not yours.
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July 18th, 2010 at 4:08 am
When someone points a finger (e.g. your husband at you) three of their fingers point back to themselves. It is likely your husband is playing away. Stop crying, There is absolutely no point in behaving like a voiceless baby.
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