I have been in a relationship with my now wife for 2 years, doesn’t seem long but I fell hard for her. We got married about 4 months ago and now she tells me that she doesn’t love me the way I should be loved. She has told me this before we got married a couple of times, but I got so emotional that she just stuck it out. She also has a 4 year old daughter who I love as my own. She promises me that there is not another man involved. I pretty sure that I pushed her away because of my excessive jealousy. I would always be pestering her about the men at work and questioning her and that is what pushed her to the limits. What really broke the camels back is when I read some of her private facebook messages to her (girl) friends about how she was falling out of love with me and she thinks she made a mistake. I also checked her cell phone bill and questioned her about some numbers she had called, which turned out to be nothing. She also has commitment problems from her childhood and the way she was raised and me being the jealous person I am did not help that at all. Now she wants a divorce and I love her so much that I am having a hard time letting go. She has now moved out and has moved in with her grandmother, and all I do is think about who she’s talking to or who’s over there. I have asked her about counseling and she says she’s too far gone and a counselor can not make you love someone. I need help and advice on letting go and a way to stop these stupid jealous thoughts that I have, so I can have a normal relationship in the future. I knew there was nothing going on with her and anyone else, but in my head I would have the worst case scenero just keep playing over and over and it drove me to questioning her on everything she did. Thanks in advance.
You are too controlling and short of frisking her, all of this snooping was totally unwarranted. No one likes to be treated as a prisoner. You really need to learn to trust, calm down and give her some space. I think you may benefit from some individual counseling and let your wife know that you recognize that you have a problem you are willing to work on. Good luck.
