I feel very jealous when my boyfriend hangs out with his friends.. How could I stop feeling this way?
So my bf has many friends and once in a while he hangs out with them and stays the night at their house. I don’t have any friends and I pretty much stay at home on the weekends. I feel very jealous when he tells me he is gonna hang out with one of them. Do you think its the fact I have no friends or because of the fact he is going out? How could I stop this feeling?
THIS IS EXACTLY THE WAY MY GIRLFRIEND DOES ME AND I ABSOLUTLY HATE IT BECAUSE WHEN I GO OUT WITH MY FRIENDS WE ARENT DOING ANYTHING BUT SIMPLY HANGIN OUT AND HAVIN A DRINK I NEVER EVER CHEAT ON HER NOR AM I AROUND GIRLS WITH THEM… ITS OKAY THO TO HAVE THIS FEELING THAT JUS MEANS U REALLY CARE AND U WANT TO BE WITH HIM EVERY CHANCE U GET AND THERES NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT AT ALL.. ME AND MY GIRLFRIEND GET INTO IT ALL THE TIME OVER THIS..JUS LET HIM AND HIS FRIENDS HAV FUN AND HANG OUT AND ITS JUS SOMETHING YOU WILL HAVE TO ACCEPT.. BUT DONT BE STUPID ABOUT THE SITUATION MAKE SURE HIS FRIENDS HOUSE ISNT ANOTHER GIRL.. THE WAY I DO WITH MY GIRLFRIED IS IF U EVER FEEL LIKE IM CHEATING ON YOU WEN IM TELLING YOU IM GOING OUT JUS CALL ME AND I WILL ALWAYS ANSWER THE PHONE AND INSURE U THERES NOTHING HAPPENING THAT SHUDNT BE
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July 5th, 2010 at 9:06 pm
That sounds like a similar situation between my ex and I. I have lots of mates, and she had relatively few, and would usually have nothing to do if I was not with her. It’s not our (your bf) fault though, you cannot hold it against us, as long as he is not doing anything wrong with his mates e.g. other girls in the mix etc. He has friends, and it is important that he hangs out with them. Don’t know hold old you are, but it’s vital to have friends to have a healthy relationship. You need to get some nice friends. My ex didn’t have any true friends for the 3 years we were together, and I believe it was an underlying factor that lead to the break up. Just a heads up for the future haha!
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July 5th, 2010 at 9:55 pm
You have to accept that he has friends and that they’re important to him.
You should try to befriend his friends,so they’d probably ask you to come with sometime.
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July 5th, 2010 at 10:33 pm
it’s maybe because you feel that since you have no friends, you deserve his attention.
it’s ok. it happens but you’ve got to do something about it.
cultivate friendships. im a little like that too but my mom told me that having a world outside your boyfriend is very healthy.
frankly, show him you;re busy too.
i started learning horseriding and the violin. i try to keep myself busy. i still do silly attention seeking things with him but i pray im learning..
good luck to you too.
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July 5th, 2010 at 11:10 pm
The best way to deal with this is to fold your arms around his neck, give him a kiss on the cheeks, and bring as much love in your face as possible and while cuddling whisper in his ears saying – mmm, I feel jealous when you leave me and go out with your friends. I wanna be with you next time!
This way there wont be too much seriousness in the topic as you guys are in cuddle mood, and at the same time the message is conveyed to him. See how he reacts. Make him feel that you are too possessive about him, and want to be with him all the time. If you guys love each other, he will understand your insecurity.
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July 5th, 2010 at 11:45 pm
THIS IS EXACTLY THE WAY MY GIRLFRIEND DOES ME AND I ABSOLUTLY HATE IT BECAUSE WHEN I GO OUT WITH MY FRIENDS WE ARENT DOING ANYTHING BUT SIMPLY HANGIN OUT AND HAVIN A DRINK I NEVER EVER CHEAT ON HER NOR AM I AROUND GIRLS WITH THEM… ITS OKAY THO TO HAVE THIS FEELING THAT JUS MEANS U REALLY CARE AND U WANT TO BE WITH HIM EVERY CHANCE U GET AND THERES NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT AT ALL.. ME AND MY GIRLFRIEND GET INTO IT ALL THE TIME OVER THIS..JUS LET HIM AND HIS FRIENDS HAV FUN AND HANG OUT AND ITS JUS SOMETHING YOU WILL HAVE TO ACCEPT.. BUT DONT BE STUPID ABOUT THE SITUATION MAKE SURE HIS FRIENDS HOUSE ISNT ANOTHER GIRL.. THE WAY I DO WITH MY GIRLFRIED IS IF U EVER FEEL LIKE IM CHEATING ON YOU WEN IM TELLING YOU IM GOING OUT JUS CALL ME AND I WILL ALWAYS ANSWER THE PHONE AND INSURE U THERES NOTHING HAPPENING THAT SHUDNT BE
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July 6th, 2010 at 12:32 am
Try to go with them when they go out. Or possibly even make plans with him for the weekend before he makes plans with them. And if he only hangs out with them once and a while you shouldn’t be jelouse. However, I was the same way too, what I did to get over it was hang out with my friends when he was away doing his thing, [:
Good Luckk!
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July 6th, 2010 at 1:06 am
im was in the same boat. i only had a few good girlfriends and they all literally moved out of state! all i have is my family and my boyfriend. we are 22 years old..and the only time he ever wanted to hang out with his guy friends is if they were gona smoke (which he doesnt do anymore-thank god) or some guys were comin back from school. typically-guys dont hang out with guys all the time. but when they do its tough to sit at home and do nothing. first and foremost- are you certain that he is with the guys? or is there a possibility he could be doing other things? i dont ask this to freak you out- i just think it is important you prioritze and analyze the situation. if he is not a cheater and you put your full trust in him–then this is what i suggest. when hes gona hang out with his guys…plan to go out to dinner with a family member. read a book (if u like reading of course), go shopping! treat yourself to a starbucks caramel machiattio. write an email to an old friend..play catch-up. some people like to go to wifi connection cafes and play around on their laptop. if u take classes-do your homework out and about. whatever u do…do not sit at home and be miserable because it will only make it worse. trust me….i know! lol..
this is coming from a girl who has been through the jealousy and over protectiveness…im learning to conquer it. i specifically search for jealousy questions bc i feel like i can be of some help. and i hope this helps a little. if you love him, and trust him–give him a little space. he will appreciate you even more next time he gets to see you
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May 2nd, 2011 at 10:13 pm
Well, assuming you love him and trust him and know he is for certain just hanging with the guys, then you should get some friends of your own, that way when he goes out with his friends, you won’t feel like you have nothing to do. Get new hobbies as well, do things you like to do. Keep yourself busy, when he is away and you just sit and stew it will only make things worse. I struggle with jealousy in my relationship also, but I have learned that if you are ‘cool’ with him hanging with his friends once in a while, he will appreciate you more because he will see you as cool and understanding. It is important to keep your sense of individuality in a relationship, it balances things a lot more if you two are your own people and have your own interests. The idea, of course is that you spend as much time with your boyfriend as possible, but from time to time, when he wants to hang with his guy friends, just trust him that he’s gonna be a good boy; And save yourself the stress of being jealous or worried. Guys hate clinginess. Hope this helps!
August 30th, 2011 at 6:04 pm
Okay please listen to this…
just get to know her
My boyfriends mom has a friend who’s REALLY close. The MOM has a GORGEOUS daughter about my boyfriends age. they hangout ALL THE TIME…..sleepovers, everything.i was a jealous wrech thats all me and my bf faught about. no what? i pushed through that. know how? i told this girl i was threatened by her. and guess what.. NOW WE ARE BEST FRIENDS. And i dont feel jealous at all … my advice become her friend
December 23rd, 2011 at 12:50 am
I have the exact same issue. Except when he hangs out with his friends, it’s from morning to night. It’s usually 10+ hours of no contact from him. When I call, he ignores it because he thinks it’s totally rude to contact him when he’s with people. He only texts me when he feels like it like, ‘Just had big lunch at this place.’ Usually places I want to go with him, but we don’t cause it’s always too expensive for us to go to. He tells me I can’t hang out with his friends because we’ll end up fighting (we tried before, it just ends up him ignoring me. He wouldn’t even care to hold hands when we walk). We made a deal that he forbid me to hang with his friends so we don’t fight. (He really used the word forbid). Now whenever he hangs out, I don’t say much to him, but I’m really jealous and anxious all the time since he goes to places where people do drugs and stuff, but he tells me he never touch those things. All the comments above about calling the guy and have him say secure things.. that will never happen with me. Being friends with his friends? Nope not happening. It’s not that I don’t trust him, I know he won’t cheat, but it’s the lack of attention that makes me jealous. I tried to explain it to him, it just ends up him stating that I don’t trust him. I just feel that because he has to spend so much time with his friends and being so happy about it, that the time I spent with him is not good enough. That I’m never good enough for him. We both love each other, but when it comes to his friends, we always fight. I don’t have much friends. Only a handful of close ones, but can talk about anything. He has many friends, but never are close with them. I’m just jealous that he’s happier with friends than with me. He doesn’t understand this. We’ve been together for a year and half. Any help I can get?
December 27th, 2011 at 6:51 am
its so sad im in a similar situation. i feel so sad that my bf chooses his friends first. i mean a girl dreams of being a princess and your prince holding your hand taking you every where. what is it with men when you first meet they treat you like a first class princess then suddenly after 2 years your realtionship is down the drain. there is just no perfect man out there. i will only go with my bf if hes discussed with me and planed to go out, i hate meeting people all so suddenly. my bf makes me meet people on the spot, and thats not my style. im more of organised person. id say that keep some attittude, one day he will realise hes wrong.
February 6th, 2012 at 4:41 pm
hey why dont all the people tha commented on this post and have similair situations get together and become friends???