how to stop feeling jealous?
Okay, mucho-big problem. I am always feeling jealous. I know
it’s wrong, but I can’t help myself. My "best friend" absolutely
adores me. I know for a fact that she would do anything in the world
for me. But I don’t think I would. I’m always thinking about how I
need to look better than her. I always try to get better grades than
her. I feel like I never want her to be happy. My family is a lot
richer than hers, but I still get green whenever she has new clothes,
and feel happy when she fails at something. I don’t why, I know it’s
awful, but I get immense satisfaction when she’s embarrassed. I’m a
runner and on the track team, so she decided to do it with me, to my
utter annoyance. So this year, she seems to have slimmed out a bit.
And last year, she used to wear sweatpants all the time, while I
dressed up. Now she dresses up too. I get UNBELIEVABLE pissed off. Like it ruins my mood for the whole day. And whenever people
compliment her, I get all moody. WHY AM I SO COMPETITIVE AND WHAT SHOULD I DO TO STOP?
if i have self-esteem issues, how do i fix that?
Wow. You are brutally honest and you just made yourself look absolutely terrible.
First I have to say, that you need to think about your friends feelings. You seem to think a lot of her, even when you want her to fail. But, do you really like her? Or care about her? Because if you did, I think you would want good things for her.
You need to realize that all of this stems from you having self confidence issues. If you had high self esteem, then you wouldn’t feel the need to be so competitive with your "best friend." You need to figure out what it is that you like about yourself and be happy with that, instead of trying to always be better.
|
July 22nd, 2010 at 6:03 am
Think about how sad and lonely you would be without her and then you might appreciate her more and feel less jealous.
Or if you don’t appreciate her then don’t pretend to be friends… I’m not sure what the situation is.
Also remember that when she looks good, it makes you look good – friends often have a collective image in the eyes of others.
lastly – get some confidence! If you feel good in yourself then it doesn’t matter what she does and if she copies you – take it as a compliment
References :
July 22nd, 2010 at 6:31 am
The answer is quite simple. You are insecure about yourself. You need to work on your own self esteem and examine what it is in your life that makes you feel bad about yourself. Is it your relationship with your parents? Do you have a sordid past that you have not yet dealt with?
You need to see a therapist.
It’s good that you realize that you have a problem. It sounds like yo have a good friend and you really don’t want to destroy that. Maybe you could try talking to her about your feelings and asking her to help you overcome them while you are seeing a therapist.
It IS your problem but you can’t fix it alone. Get help.
References :
July 22nd, 2010 at 7:14 am
Wow. You are brutally honest and you just made yourself look absolutely terrible.
First I have to say, that you need to think about your friends feelings. You seem to think a lot of her, even when you want her to fail. But, do you really like her? Or care about her? Because if you did, I think you would want good things for her.
You need to realize that all of this stems from you having self confidence issues. If you had high self esteem, then you wouldn’t feel the need to be so competitive with your "best friend." You need to figure out what it is that you like about yourself and be happy with that, instead of trying to always be better.
References :
July 22nd, 2010 at 7:22 am
your relationship with ur friend is like a relationship u might have with a sister. obviously you love them and care about them but u always feel like u r in competition with them. Honestly, everyone feels some degree of competition with a friend or sibling. Why would you want to feel inferior? just focus on how important your friendship with your friend is to you. since u posted this, u obviously feel some compassion and dont want to exhibit these feelings toward your friend. hope this helps:)
References :