how to stop being jealous?
thanks for reading this, its going to be a little long but its 2 years of my life…
im male, have a female friend, we are like best friends, but we have our ups and downs some times.
its 2 years now that i know her and from week 1 we got very close.
i started liking her 2 weeks after i got to know her. but didnt ask her out cuz i valued the friendship and thought i could have it under control .
but i liked her more and more,
month 2 she got a boyfrined, (we were also flat mates. cuz we were close she thought i would be a good idea if we lived close so we could talk and every thing.). when she got the boyfriend things started going really bad for me. some nights she would go to spend the night with him and i couldnt sleep the whole night. she would talk about him and that wasnt also good for me.
finally after 5 months she said she couldnt put up with him and they are breaking up. after that i asked her out but she said we are just friend and you are in the just friends list.
i couldnt stop liking her, i moved to a new place but wer were ofcourse friends still, since she knew i liked her for coulpe of months we werent close but then we got close agian,
i was summer , i went back to my home town she stayed . and one day she called me and said that she liked a guy from our school, lets call him R. i knew R . good guy . i went back 1 month later and she told me she is in love with R. i told her i dont wanna talk about your love life any more.
i stopped being close to her , she would call once a week and talk for few mins (not hours like before) it went like that for a month. and then she told me that she is going to break up with R because there is this other girl that likes R and R and the other girl (lets call her Y) have been friends long before i started liking him and she felt she had stolen R from Y , and of course R liked Y girl more. so they broke up and now i was the number one guy in her life but as a friend. so she would hug me every time and told me you are my only true friend. well she was going through a hard time and i couldnt leave her alone and i was some how over her so we became close again .
in order to get over her ex boyfriend which she liked very much she got a new boyfriend. she said she didnt like the guy that much but feelings can develop.
well , she got over her R and told me she has no feelings for him. meanwhile R and Y started dating. but my friend would still see R and Y in church or at school .
every thing was going fine , i was kinda over my best friend and R and Y seemed happy.
she (my friend) told me that her new boyfriend is not nice and they guy swears a lot . she doens wanna have sex with him but he insists so she told me "maybe i should break up with him and go out with some one i know already and trust, some one like you" . wow it was the best day of my life .. i was like are my ears deceiving me.. night after that we were working late at school so she came to my place to sleep at my place. i asked her out again and she said no she was kidding and that she was sorry she conveyed the wrong message. so we werent that close another month and then things went back to normal we actually got very close . many times she wanted to breakup with the guy with i told her give him another chance. i didnt know the guy so i wouldnt get that jealous , for Christmas he took her to his town to meet his parants, she actually didnt wanna go i convinced her to go with the guy.
when they came back she told me she had the time of her life and its getting serious with the guy . the guy is getting so nice . on new years eve me the girl and the guy went to see the fire works together . that was a big mistake. i started falling for her like never before. and after a few days she told me the guy is agian very stubborn and not at all nice and there is no other way than breaking up with him. she said she would rather spend the Jan vacation time with me . we got so close , so close and i started loving her. we had so much fun in Jan, snow balling , snow surfing , we understood each other so well. i could make her laugh like crazy. she told me she really really loved me (in friends way). they finally broke up, and i asked her out agian. she said" you are like my brother how can you think of me like that, i trusted you , and you do this "
she didnt talke to me for 2 months she said "i feel like i have lost my best friend and that we can never be that close agian"
i went back home and came back we started talking and slowly slowly fixing the friendship.
oh bout R and Y , Y graduated and went back to her home town. they broke up cuz long distance relationship dont work . R actually never got over my best frend he told me so he even said he loved her even when he was with Y. R and I got close over the past months . he is like my close friend now. recently R , me and my female best friend we studied for a week together and some how i got worrie
I can’t tell you to stay away from her because you are best friends. And you been through ups and downs but you over came those. I’m not sure if while you too was friends that you had i girlfriend. I really think you need one to take your mind off of her. Because she’s dating getting boyfriends and i hope you are getting girlfriends. If you want her and she don’t want to be romantically involved with you it’s time to move on. But i have a soft spot and in that says stay friends because you are her true best friend. You describe the situation so well, i feel pain in my heart from it.
Check this site if its too painful to think about how she think of you as a friend.
http://www.ehow.com/how_2111466_get-over-someone.html
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August 7th, 2010 at 8:20 pm
cold turkey. think about some thing else. eg: people at lower luck than you
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August 7th, 2010 at 8:54 pm
try to find another girl who you really like
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August 7th, 2010 at 9:40 pm
WOW. That’s complicated, girls tend to do that a lot, they don’t mean to, they just do. I know my ex boyfriend, he’s been in love with me for the duration we were together and a year after, I made it clear that i didn’t feel the same anymore but he’s determined to call my bluff, i love him as a brother and a friend, and every time i mention a guys name (It could even be a friend) he scoffs at it and goes weird, it is difficult, but you need to be completely honest with her, because it’s not fair on you. If she doesn’t like you, spend some time apart from her.
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August 7th, 2010 at 10:09 pm
I can’t tell you to stay away from her because you are best friends. And you been through ups and downs but you over came those. I’m not sure if while you too was friends that you had i girlfriend. I really think you need one to take your mind off of her. Because she’s dating getting boyfriends and i hope you are getting girlfriends. If you want her and she don’t want to be romantically involved with you it’s time to move on. But i have a soft spot and in that says stay friends because you are her true best friend. You describe the situation so well, i feel pain in my heart from it.
Check this site if its too painful to think about how she think of you as a friend.
http://www.ehow.com/how_2111466_get-over-someone.html
References :