Comments on: Feeling jealous of friend’s wedding because my partner’s ‘different’ and we do not ‘LOOK’ the ‘American dream?

By: chris n

chris n — Wed, 21 Jul 2010 12:49:59 +0000

You've answered your own question. You don't like the looks and stares. You want a fantastic wedding with your husband tucked away behind your dress so no-one sees him. I don't think this very nice man deserves you. Your concerns about what other people think are going to ruin this relationship so better to end it now and let the poor man find someone who loves him for himself because you certainly don't.
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By: anissia

anissia — Wed, 21 Jul 2010 12:21:59 +0000

You said, "I have found the love of my life. My best friend of many years has become my romantic partner and we are planning a future together.
He is everything I would want in a husband."

so what is the problem.
congratulations!!

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By: alan h

alan h — Wed, 21 Jul 2010 11:33:59 +0000

You cannot help feelings but can deal with your actions.
Diamonds do not come as big as paving stones
Nor does expensive perfume come in milk bottles.
0ne of my dearest friends stands at 4foot 4inches and she is a BIG person inside.
If some other people look at you askance well (in the immortal words of Compo. a UK Tv comedy character) "Chuff ‘em"

If you lived in the UK I would even conduct the wedding for you.
(Or have ny aforementioned friend do it!!)

Send me a slice of wediing cake!!
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By: Reeda

Reeda — Wed, 21 Jul 2010 10:56:59 +0000

Well, I am not from America and don’t care about American dreams. So shouldn’t you!
I understand you. But try to look at it in this way: looks can be worth to admire, but even more admirable is a relationship where two people love each other and complete each other in a way that they want to marry and create a family! Stupid people who don’t know you and instead of look at you with odd faces – who cares! If they’d get to know you, they’d see that you have love between you and him, and that is not odd at all.

Don’t worry anymore, alright? Life is good and you have someone who loves you and who you love,too! What could be better than that? I am sure you’re great together and you’ll be happy now and in the future! Strangers will always be strangers and looks will disappear, but true feelings will remain! Think about that.
Take care!
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By: kaje

kaje — Wed, 21 Jul 2010 10:21:59 +0000

I get like that sometimes about other people. My man was not "ideal" or what i imagined for other reasons (nationality, religion, his ex-wife, kids…) BUT what I remind myself of is that I am so very happy and if I worry about what other people think from the outside, i will never be happy. I had hesitation for several months when he and i started dating and i have learned that he is the most loving, giving, selfless person and even though it is not the situation I imagined, I couldn’t be happier. I also know a few couples who look "perfect" from the outside but are not nearly as happy as we are. We don’t always get the fairytale we imagined, but sometimes that’s a blessing in disguise. (sidenote: if i married my "perfect" gorgeous ex, got the great wedding pix, i know i would be miserable now) You know how great your man is, you know how great he is – don’t worry about what it looks like from the outside, because we all know that doesn’t matter nearly as much! Take pride in the great love you have. And he can wear tall shoes as you wear flats at your wedding!
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By: Stomp It

Stomp It — Wed, 21 Jul 2010 09:47:59 +0000

The American Dream…read ‘Death of a Salesman’ if you haven’t already. You can chase the American dream all you like but you’ll never reach something that is made up in your head as ‘The Dream’. It will always change. Your friend as lucky as she may be will no doubt have fears of her own about her new man. Maybe he has some odd behaviors that only she knows about. Love is Blind to everything else remember that, the American Dream is a fabrication and something invented to drive economy’s back in the day. Don’t get trapped into that way of thinking.

its certainly not shallow of you…its a very natural reaction to society and you know people will look strangley at you but who honestly cares!!

It seems you know the answers but need re-assurance so here goes. If you’re happy and in love that transcends all on a Physical level.
Please don’t let yourself get sucked into that narrow way of thinking…society needs less of that and not more! Now every time someone looks at you or says something about the 2 of you, you can smile to yourself that your above and beyond that mentality.

Good luck and i wish you eternal happiness.

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By: VickSt?r

VickSt?r — Wed, 21 Jul 2010 09:27:59 +0000

When you love your partner, you love your partner for everything…..

Seems to me that you have some insecurities….
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By: Charles S

Charles S — Wed, 21 Jul 2010 09:14:59 +0000

Maybe you should think about an alternative wedding? I heard about a couple who are getting married at Halloween so that their guests can dress up and the reception will be Halloween themed. Or you could have a simple registry office wedding with just a few friends and relatives to act as witnesses and a big reception afterwards. Another idea is if you're in New York or near enough, hire a Circle Line boat for the service and reception and that would be very different.
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By: Tommy

Tommy — Wed, 21 Jul 2010 08:59:59 +0000

it's not shallow really you are a woman and women like weddings. end of. jus be glad you found the love of your life and your best friend coz alot of people dont. The people at your wedding will be friends and therefore should not judge you so dont worry about that, congratulations anyway and good luck
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By: Magic 8 Ball

Magic 8 Ball — Wed, 21 Jul 2010 08:48:59 +0000

well.. if you love him thats all that matters.. as a woman i can understand you, you want to look good and when you think of wedding pics u want them to look good.. so i feel u on that but i mean u cant change the way ur bf looks.. and i mean.. it is what it is.. dont be so concerned off what ppl think, at least you’re happy and plus good looking ppl usually are not as happy cuz they are jealous but i mean idkk.. i look good and my bf looks good n i love walkin down the st with men jockin n females jockin its like yeaaaaa bt i mean just be more secure about your relationship.. but i dont think ur shallow but when you’re lil u imagine something diff you know its what DISNEY makes us think that its gonna be a tall prince yadayadayada and when we find love in someone tht doesnt fit the description is lke,.. hmm… bt yea good luck
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